The life-changing power of self-love

What emerges from the rubble of romantic devastation

“When I speak of love, I am not speaking of some sentimental and weak response. I am speaking of that force which all of the great religions have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. Love is somehow the key that unlocks the door that leads to ultimate reality.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

Most of us, when we hear the term self-love, tend to roll our eyes and cringe, dismissing it as a cloying vestige of New Age narcissism.

We've all heard the hollow affirmations and smarmy mantras that promise to uplift but often leave us feeling more snarky than empowered.

Real self-love isn't about superficial slogans or false bravado. It's a journey toward acceptance and resilience that emerges from the “awful grace of God” when faced with the rawness of life's challenges and the breakdown of relationships.

When, say, the man that we thought would father our children suddenly disappears into his native nothingness … and there we are, shivering in the shattered aftermath of a cherished dream gone tragically awry.

Or when, as we’re seeking to deepen our authenticity, we have to ask ourselves, Is it okay for me to be happy if my partner is depressed?

Or when we face the moment of truth that the marriage is over—and then seeing our shadowy face in the mirror, we wonder, How can I love myself when I don’t even recognize myself?

I recently talked about these very issues and more with three phenomenally resilient women.

Tina Green, Bev LaZar, and Linda Stuart are colleagues of mine who dove headlong into their lovelorn midlife traumas and emerged victorious with an inner voice that quietly proclaimed, I love you no matter what.

Listen to our convo—and then pick up their new, groundbreaking book: The Life-Changing Power of Self-Love, where 19 other women share their stories as well.

Here’s my biggest takeaway from our talk:

The real love that will never leave you lies in the very center of your pain.

Listen.

To hear more remarkable stories of breakdown, redemption, and transformation from Tina, Bev, Linda, and 19 other brave women, pick up your copy of The Life-Changing Power of Self-Love.